Birth, n. The first and direst of disasters
Cat, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
Happiness, n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
History, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.